From My Point of View

I will keep this short and sweet, because I have not yet masted the art of typing on my very small new phone.I don't know what your guys know because I haven't been able to read the updates.

So here is my version, as some of you may already know I have been experiencing symptoms of tinging and numbness in my hands and fee for quite a while. This goes as far back as when Marissa was born, two years ago.

I thought it was nothing and it never lasted longed than 3 days. And of course, I do not have insurance so seeing a doctor was pretty much out of the question.

Friday and Sat. I did not feel very week, but I made myself just push through it because really what can you do.

I took Roo to his soccer game last sat morning but upon arriving home I could barley walk and had to resort to using my mom's walked just to get around. I was totally against going to the ER, no insurance and we are just starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel and build back our credit and such.

Sunday morning was one of the scariest times in my life. I couldn't feel my legs,they felt heavy and I could feel pressure but could not pick them up off the bed and when I stood I could see that they were on the floor but could not feel the floor beneath me. I finally let Hubby take me to the ER and they did not find anythinhg wrong. I honestly was beginning to think it was all in my head and wondered if maybe I should be committed, no I'm not joking here.

Sunday night, I started having muscle spasms that I could not control. My arms and legs just started moving on there own. I won't lie, I was terrified. I also felt like someone had given me an epidural. My legs were so very heave. So Hubby called the ambulance at 10 Sunday night. They admitted me and I saw a neurologist on Monday. He examined me and said there was something wrong. Without even discussion the results he had me transferred by ambulance at around1 1 pm Monday night. All I knew was that he said there was a spinal compression. So he sent me to a neurosurgeon in Nashville.
They did a gazillion tests, very painful and admitted me to the Nero ICU. All he found on the tests was a degenerative disk, that apparently has been causing a lot of my back pain. But did not account for the numbness and shaking. Oh did I mention by this time my right side would shake uncontrollable. That was so frustrating, I kept telling it to spot but to no avail So they finally brought in a neurologist. He told me what I needed to hear.

He said he could not prove it with a test but there was something really wrong with me. When he walked out the door I burst into tears. That is all I wanted to hear, that there was indeed a problem and it wasn't in my head. I guess felt validated after all these years living in pain someone finally told me it was real and not in my head.

He told me that the tremors on my Right side has mostly do with my car accident many years ago.
because my right side was the part that was busted up so badly in the accident.
So the plan is to treat it with Medicine, which has already started to control the tremors. I just have to build my strength up and get off that darn walker.

I do know that I have to take it easy. I have a lot of pain, and feel dizzy when getting up. But I'm determined. I just have to approach this like I did 17 years ago when I had to learn how to walk again after my car accident.

I have so much more to share, things God showed me and taught me through all of this but I'm tired so I will end here.

You will never ever know what your comments, prayers, and thoughts have meant to my family.
Oh and if there is anyway to put me on a prayer list on your Church, your friends or even you blog if you so desire, please do.

It's really hard on my husband having to do it all and this has taken a lot out of him and also my aunt having to take care of my mom and the kids.

My prayer requests:
*That I will get that medical card and the phone interview will go great on Tuesday. But honestly I've turned that over to God, if I get it great, if not I know God will handle it. He has given me a peace that surpasses all understanding throughout all of this. Don't get me wrong, I have yelled and cried and asked why, Because personally I think I have been through quite enough in my 32 years. But I'm not promised tomorrow or the use of my legs or even to spend another birthday with my children. All I know is He has gathered me in his arms through all of this, held me and given me a peace I can't explain.

*Please pray for my mom and my whole family, I know this is tough on them.

* And lastly, please pray for my 3 month old neice. You can find out more about that here
Well hope this makes sense. It's taken forever to type if on my phone, and if it doesn't go through well I just may have a temper tantrum, but God understands