Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Harder Than I imagined

I haven't felt much like blogging for a while, not to mention there has just been no time.

I have moments when I feel so overwhelmed with it all and just want to get in my car and drive and keeping driving.

I get up at 8, which doesn't sound to early, but I don't usually get to sleep until 4 am. I can do that for a few days with not problem but the lack of sleep catches up with me and it makes everything so much harder to deal with.

I have been on the phone at least two hours a day trying to get mom's doctors appointments all sorted out and then arrange for PACS (a community organization that transports the elderly, and disabled to their doctors appoints and such) to transport my mom. My mom is in a wheel chair, and we have no way of transporting her except through pacs.

Last Thursday we got her up, which is at least a 45 minute process, We have to bathe her, dress her and use a hoyer lift to get her out of bed and into her wheel chair. She had a doctors appointment, and we waited for an hour, only for me to call pacs and have them tell me she was not on the schedule so she did not go.

And yesterday, she had a appointment with a podiatrist for a very infected in grown tow nail. After going around and around with PACs to get them to come get her, because it was late notice but that was the only time the Podiatrist could see her and she really had to get her toe taken care of, they finally agreed to come pick her up at 1:00 and transport her to the doctor.

However, when it was time for her to leave, we could not get a hold of them to transport her back home. They apparently had not made arrangements for that.

So I missed my son's first soccer game of the year because I had to stay home and make a thousand calls to see how we were going to get my mom transported home. She is a heavy woman, close to 300 pounds and there is no way of getting her in a car without many people and the risk of hurting her. I finally got a hold of a yellow cab company that just do medical transports, we had to pay 50 bucks for it.

Everyday it's something else with these people. I was on the phone again today trying to schedule her pick up for Monday's check with her podiatrist and again they gave me the run around, about how the wrong address was put in the system and it has to be changed before she can be picked up again at the is address. This was not our fault, I was not the one who put the wrong info in the computer but my mom has to suffer for other's people mistakes and honestly I've lost what little patience I have had with these people.

Mom also has to see a vascular surgeon soon, and an eye doctor because she has severe glaucoma. So I have to set those appointments up tomorrow, Fun Fun.

so I'm feeling overwhelmed, between making sure mom does her exercises everyday, convincing her she needs to sit in the chair everyday for at least a little bit, heping my aunt with mom's baths and the bed pan , taking care of a very strong willed 2 year old that has been refusing to listen to a word I say, keeping the house clean, getting my son to and from school and now soccer practice and trying to cook every night because mom eats so much better when i cook. Not to mention the toll all of this is having on my marriage.

Oh and if that wasn't enough, I have started to loose feeling in my hands and feet, so if this post makes no sense it's because it has taken me twice as long because I have to look at each letter as I am typing. My lips are numb and I can't taste food.

This has happened one other time about two years ago and I just thought it was due to a migraine medicine I was taking, when I stop the medicine the symptoms stopped but apparently that may not have been what it was because it's back full force and I am on no medications. Oh and we have no medical insurance, the kids do through Kentucky's Insurance program for kids but we do not have any.

I have plates in my neck and I'm hoping it has nothing to do with what is going on with these symptoms.

I ask for all of your prayers.
I know I can do this, know we can get through this. I'm just exhausted, overwhelmed, and frustrated.

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