Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Inspiration in a Little Girl's Eyes

As most of you know, I'm on a journey to find myself, step out of my comfort zone, discover just who I am, not who I am as a wife, mother, daughter, caretaker, aunt, sister, homemaker and friend, but as a woman , an athlete, an artist, a writer, a beginning chef.

Before I started on this journey I would not have used those words to describe myself, I would have used the first ones, wife, mother, daughter, sister,and homemaker.

I am all of those things but I am discovering that I am so much more than that.

I'm looking around my world, including my new blog world and I am taking the time to be inspired by things and people that I would not have taken the time to notice before.

It's been an amazing experience and it's just beginning.

As some of you know, I did not have an idea childhood. My father was physically abusive to me ,my mom, and my sister. At the age of 6, He tried to kill the three of us. I remember that day like it happened yesterday. I remember feeling the bullet go by my ear and the windshield shattering in the car.

My childhood was about survival, it had very little to do with fun. It was about getting through the day without setting my father off.

There was no time or energy left for anything else. So one of the things I did not do until I was 12 was learn to ride a bike. At that point I was so scared and I only rode it a few times and then just gave it up.

Well, a couple of weeks ago my dear friend that I have met in the blogging world recently, Carrie, posted a video and pictures of her 5 year old learning to ride without training wheels.

There was something in little Emily's precious eyes that touched me to the core. It was pure joy, complete fearlessness and freedom. She was so proud of herself and her sweet free spirit shined through her eyes.

I can't explain it completely but it touched me in a way that I would have never thought possible because it was something so simply. A child learning to ride a bike without training wheels, kids do this everyday. And yet this time it stirred something inside of me.

I realized in that moment what I had missed as a child. I never experienced that pride, that freedom, and fearlessness.

So Emily inspired me to start looking at bikes. I found out that they are not cheap and I don't like to spend that kind of money on myself so I figured it would be a while before I would get my bike.

Then Sat. my aunt and I decided at the last minute that we would go to a few yard sales. We pulled up into the first driveway and what do I find.... You guessed it... a bike. A 15 speed bike in decent condition.

I got on it (said several prayers) and I rode it. It was amazing I felt free, young and childlike.

So now Roo and I go bike riding daily. Our dog goes with us also. It's a great bonding experience for Roo and I.

Now if I could only find a way for Emily to inspire Ruben to get rid of his training wheels, there has got to be a way Carrie and I could make that work :)

Thank you Carrie for sharing your sweet little girl on your blog with all of us.

This may sound strange but I feel a connection with her and I hope she never looses that light that shines so brightly in her eyes.

So what is it that you could do to step out of your comfort zone, try something new and different? Look around your world everyday and I assure you there will be something to inspire you to be better, have more fun or just find something you love that you never thought you would.

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He And Me + 3 said...

This post was inspiring too. I am so glad you stumbled on my blog and that I am getting to know you better with each post. You are truly amazing! Great picture of you on your "new" bike....you have that excitement in your smile too.

Sheryl said...

how cool!! so proud of you on so many levels. love that picture of you on the bike.

Carrie said...

Kiesha, that is AWESOME! You have so much to be proud of. It filled my heart with joy that little Emily was such an inspiration for you! Like you said, it's just something kids do, and it truly is taken for granted and I appreciate you sharing your story with us! I love how God works on our hearts and connects us to the people we didn't even know about! Speaking of stepping out your comfort zone. I've been a part of MOPS for 5 years now, and when I was asked to be the Coordinator for our group a couple of years ago, I almost passed it up! Me? I do whatever I can to not bring attention to myself, I HATE {I know strong word, but I hated} speaking in front of others. And I had to make announcements, plan the meetings and read devotionals every other week in front of a group of moms! I had anxiety everytime! But God used this to help me become closer to him, and "be anxious for nothing" and other moms had told how much I inspired them. really? so, although I struggled with that, I LOVED every minute of it! This is getting long! THANK you God for instilling in Emily's spirit the ability to be fearless and inspire someone! Thank you Kiesha for allowing us to share in this wonderful journey!!!

nancygrayce said...

Oh, how wonderful! God provides just what we need at just the perfect time! I've been trying to comment on a few of your posts and couldn't for some reason????? I admit I am a tad technically challenged!

The bike riding will be good on so many levels and you look wonderful!

Girl Child said...

Wow Kiesha.. I didn't know about ur childhood (im a newbie) im so glad that u have found a good man and you were blessed with two adorable lil babies.. and now you are comin out of ur shell and meeting wonderful people and experiencing life like never before. YOU INSIRE ME!! really, u do.

Tanya said...

Oh, Keisha, I'm so sorry you had to endure that as a kid, but what an amazing success you are as an adult, trully remarkable! It's great that you ride with Roo. Maya is still using her training wheels and falls anyway. Poor thing has no sporty bones in her body.
I am very much inspired by you and I've decided to do something I've been meaning to do for a very long time now, I'll post about it tomorrow. I hope.