A Reminder of How I Want to Live

This was posted on Jan. 7th of this year. I found it while going through some posts on our family blog. It still hits home with me and though I haven't lived like I wanted to and expressed in this post, I have done better. When I wrote this I had no idea what 2009 would hold for my family. I hadn't a clue that I would get sick, that my mom and aunt would move in and mom would slowly start declining, or that my father in law would be faced with some serious health problems that aren't getting any better.
I was fairly sure that my best friends dad wouldn't make it, although I was hoping and praying the outcome would be different. This was written when I returned from Deb's house (6 hrs away), her dad was still in the hospital.

Tonight I am overcome with so many emotions.


The year has started and I know of several people who have lost someone in the last week or so. My heart aches for all who have lost someone they love and cherish.


My best friend, Deb, and her family may soon have to spend 2009 learning how to live without a beloved husband, father, grandfather, friend and all around American Hero.


Deb's dad is hanging on but the family is going through so very much right now. They are grieving the man they knew and loved for so many years. If he makes it, he may never be the same.


We aren't promised tomorrow but we are promised that God will walk the journey of grief or whatever road we may have to go down, even if He has to carry us.


Grief is such a very hard road.


We all grieve.


Whether it's a childhood lost, the ending of a marriage, having to let go of a dream, or the death of a loved one.


I'm in no way comparing these.


While there is nothing that can compare to facing the finality of losing someone you love, the process of grief is the same.


I've been down the road of grief many times and my heart aches for those who are starting or continuing the journey of grief this year.


I am reminded every day to squeeze every bit of life out of every moment. I want everyone in my life to know how very much I love and appreciate them. I never want to have to face another casket with a list of things I wish I had said.


So my promise to myself for 2009 is to spend the year showing the people in my life how much I cherish them.


I mean really, how much time does it take to address a card and take it to the post office, to send an email, to buy and inexpensive gift, to give someone a hug or just simply say thank you.


I let so many opportunities pass me by this year, opportunities to show the people in my life how much they are loved and appreciated.


I let myself off the hook by saying, "Oh, well I'm just so busy, they will understand." What if they aren't around to understand, what if I don't get the chance again.


So this year, I will drop the excuses and do my best to take every chance I get and show people what they mean to me, because I don't want to be here next year with a list of things I wish I had said or done to someone who is no longer here.


I haven't followed this like I wish I had but I think being sick and facing so many life or death situations this year has reinforced my desire to live life this way. I pray I never forget just how short life is and that no one is promised tomorrow.

KEE