Monday, November 23, 2009

We Interupt the Regular Scheduled Programing

Today I usually participate in Multitude Mondays.

But when I started this blog I promised myself I would be honest about life and not gloss it over. Life is not perfect and I think it can be harmful to others if all they read about is how great your life is. They start to feel bad and wonder why there life is not all roses. Or atleast I have felt that way reading some blogs in the past.

I have a lot to be grateful for, believe me I know that.

But today I don't feel like being grateful.

I'm in pain, my body hurts from the top of my head to the tips of my toes.

I'm frustrated and I'm trying to make a very big decision about my faith. My husband is catholic and it's never been an issue until Roo started school. I have went there for 5 years and have found that all I was taught about catholics is just not true, I learned this by observation over a 5 year period.

I'm considering converting but not sure what that means because I am a Christian, so I'm struggling with the whole converting thing.

I am tired of hiding my physical pain from everyone. No one knows at Roo's scchool just how hard it is for me to go to school and work.

I put a smile on my face to hide the pain so my daughter can have a normal birthday party at Chucky E cheese.

So today I don't feel like being grateful.

I know that is wrong and God is probably not pleased with it. And while I may be able to fool others,I can never fool God because he knows my heart.
So what is the point in pretending.

Tomorrow will be better. God is still God no matter how I am feeling.




6 comments:

Sandy said...

oh, I do understand, really!
I am in pain a lot, and sometimes I work all week, but then am in bed all weekend. And, my family hates that! This past week, my Dr. increased my dosage of Lyrica, and it made my vision drastically worse!
Today, I did get some help from the eye Dr.
I am praying for you!

LAURA said...

The coolest thing about God is that he still loves you anyway!!

And when I am having a hard time being grateful I start to remember things like being able to brush my own teeth and feed myself... they may seem like small things but there are people that can't do that... and therefore I am grateful. :)

Hope you feel better tomorrow.

christy rose said...

Kee,
I am so sorry that you are having a rough day. You are so right though! "God is still God no matter how you are feeling!" I am praying that you have a better day tomorrow!!! :)
Christy

nancygrayce said...

We do all have rough days, weeks, years even. I'm grateful to the core that God remembers we are dust! Hope you have a much better day tomorrow!

He & Me + 3 said...

Kee,

Somedays are just like that. I hear you. It is hard to be content in everything when it feels like it is falling apart around you...I have been there. Praying that tomorrow is a better day.
Hugs,
Mimi

Bonnie said...

Hey Kee,
I hope the clouds clear soon, your in my prayers...and no I dont' just say that I really pray for those that need it.

I became a catholic at the age of 30 but I did not convert...I was baptised. It was beautiful and awesome.