Saturday, May 9, 2009

Yes, She's Done It Again

OK, so I know someone had a bet going out there on how long I would leave my blog alone. And I'm pretty sure Sheryl won that one.

I was working on Girl Child's blog and I couldn't help myself when I got finished with hers. And the bad thing is, I know just enough to be dangerous on here.
I lost my three blog column while messing with mine, I remember how long it took to get that third column and decided that for today I like mine just the way it is. Besides the background that I have doesn't come as a three column one. And 'a journey to forever' could not be more perfect for this blog at the moment,' don't quote me on that, if it's gone tomorrow. lol EDIT: By the time this post was finished it was no longer the layout 'a journey to forever' it was 'monkey see monkey do', fun wins out everytime, plus that layout was hard to read the posts.

It's a good thing I do them myself, even though they don't look professional and all, because if I paid for them I would be blowing money every month, that's about as long as one has lasted.
Although the one on our family blog has lasted a while now and I have no plans to change it because it took me FOREVER to get it all pulled together.

Anyways, I'm rambling. I do that when I don't want to talk about what is really going on. Though I'm sure if you have been here long enough you already know that.

I will be 33 tomorrow. Age has never really bothered me. I guess I got another perspective on age when I lost so many in the same car accident I survived (at 16). So I have embraced every year I have grown older knowing it was one more that they didn't get, so I better enjoy it and live it to it's fullest.

This year seems a little different because I don't feel like I am able to live life to the fullest, well not what my definition of that used to be. I don't know what is wrong with me, just that I can't seem to control my body and I'm only 33. The medicines seem to be helping. I can walk more, with the use of buddy (my walker) and speedy (my wheelchair) if I have to go long distances. I can even at times go around the house without either but not for very long.

I don't know what God is doing but I do know He's up to something.
I was looking back at some of the first posts on this blog and I found this one, my very first. It was most appropriately titled, Starting This Journey Here is an excerpt:

In 2008, I started following other blogs and went on journeys with women who lost their babies, faced divorce, dealt with serious illnesses, and even the death of their spouse. I was touched by the way they shared their pain so openly and honestly and I saw that it was a part of their healing process and helped others to heal also.

I wish that I had would have had a blog when I had to face certain challenges and tragedies in my own life. There is nothing worse than facing a tragedy head on feeling completely alone. Even if you know Jesus as you Lord and Savior, it's still hard.

Only God knew when I wrote that what was up ahead for me and only He knows now. He also knew that I would need to take this journey with all of you.

So I thank all of you for coming here. Because when God told me to start a blog that was just for me, Him and only others I did not know personally and He said people would read it. I had to laugh, yes I laughed at God. I hesitated to put up a followers button for the longest because I just knew no one would follow. Now I have 10 and it amazes me. Yes I know in the blog world 10 is nothing but to me and God it's everything. Your support uplifted me in the hospital and your prayers comforted me when the doctors just shook their heads.

And in the days or even years ahead this blog will be as it has been since that first post, a place I can be me. A place I can express myself, find support, give support and feel His presence all around me because I know this is a place I built with Him.

Edit# 2 Yes I changed it one last time. I finally found the layout that went with my button but my header did not match so I spent forever on it and just now at 10 pm got finished. Atleast I haven't been bored in bed all day but boy I'm I gonna be in pain tomorrow, I can feel it already. Going for a nice long soak, wished it were in bubbles but no, it's Epson Salt.
Have a great day girls, I will eat some birthday cake for ya :)


Girl Child said...

ok, so im ganna do a give-a-way later tonight, but u are already deserving a little gift from me for hooking my page up.. which looks OH SO FABULOUS btw.. email me ur addy.. and dont feel silly.. it wont be that fab, just a little thank you ;}

He And Me + 3 said...

I love the new look and I will have to check out Girl Child's blog.

Girl Child said...

oh, and btw, love ur new page. =)

nancygrayce said...

Your blog is always so pretty and it does look professional! I can't even change mine from the boring one provided by blogspot!

33, oh, so young! Right now you feel helpless, but I know God is working in your life! He has a plan that we can't see! If it isn't our health, it is something else.

I hope your Mother's day AND your birthday are wonderful!

Carrie said...

Oh yes, 33, you are young and have a wonderful journey, yet to travel :) {I will be 34 in 5 short months...hee hee, yikes!}

I LOVE the new blog look, and I keep changing mine, too! I can't leave well enough alone ;)

Hope you can have a wonderful celebration of life and motherhood tomorrow :) Happy Birthday/Mother's Day!

Girl Child said...

oh you should keep this decor!! Loving the hippie flowers and swirls.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! ;)