Monday, January 3, 2011

Missing you Mama

It's Jan. 3rd. Entering a new year without you Mama has been one of the hardest things I have ever had to face. I  miss you, I need you. I feel lost because without you here to get everything in order and plan things, give me your advice on everything at any given time. I've never not had that and I find myself stumbling through the days without a clear direction.

Ruben's not sleeping well, he woke up Sat. night and with huge tears in his eyes, he said " Nana really isn't coming back is she?" Through tear filled eyes I picked him up and whispered "no baby she's not coming back."
I wish I could go back and change the night you left us. I wish I had one more minute just to tell you what a wonderful mother you are and just how much I love and appreciate all the sacrifices you made for me and Kim.
I can finally look at your pictures whereas before I couldn't bear to. Now I find some comfort in them.
My heart aches for you.
Forever in my thoughts and heart,


He & Me + 3 said...

Awe sweet Kee...what a beautiful letter and such beautiful pictures full of wonderful memories. Your mom knew that you loved her. You were an awesome daughter and friend to her. Praying your are finding some relief for your heart ache.
Love ya,

nancygrayce said...

I know what you mean about one more time to say something. My dad died suddenly in the middle of the night. So many things come up that I say, I need to ask daddy about that. Time does make it hurt less and God definitely gives His comfort!