The Road I Did Not Take

I recently opened a Facebook account and connected with someone I first met in 2001. We were both fresh out of college and showed up to start our first real job in social services, at the Department of Children and Families. It was a small office of three social workers, a secretary and our supervisor. We became fast friends since we were the newbies and had to go out of town together a lot for trainings . She had been married for about a year and I had known Jose for about 6 months.

We talked about our relationships and how hard our job was at times and about our ambitions. We both wanted to eventually go back to school and get our MSW and eventually be a Department Supervisor for one of the nearby counties. I really had no intention of ever getting married and she really did not want kids.

I have only seen her twice since we have moved back. It's been a few years since we have been in touch.

Well, finding her page brought back a lot of emotions.

See, our lives went in two total different directions. Her life looks exactly like the one I thought I wanted, from the outside at least.

On the computer screen, I saw the life I had always wanted (or so I thought for so long). A Masters of Social Work Degree, Director of Children and family services. Pictures of trips to Mexico, cruises, lots of out of town girl trips.

It was all there on that screen and to be completely honest for a second I wished that was my life.

Because my life took a completely different road.

I worked at DCBS for only a year before moving to Los Angeles to be with my now husband. We were married two years after my move and had a baby less than a year after getting married. We moved back to Ky when Ruben was 7 months. I wanted to go back to work but could not bear to leave my beautiful baby boy especially since there was no one I trusted enough to leave him with.

So I chose to be a stay at home mom. Then had a much wanted and prayed for baby girl.

There are no fancy vacations here and not many girls nights out or even date nights for that matter.
I'm not doing the job I enjoyed so much, the one I prepared so hard for in school.

My days are filled with getting my son off to school, cuddling with my 3 year old and then dealing with her tantrums.
Potty training, singing 'You are my Sunshine', teaching my children how to pray, cleaning house, helping Roo with homework, volunteering at his school, baths, bedtime stories and kisses. And then it starts all over again the next day.

This is not what I dreamed my life would be when I was a Freshman in College deciding on my major. It's not the life I thought I wanted. But this is what I was put on this earth to do. To love my two precious children and teach them about the one who loves and created them.
Peace and contentment is what I feel on this cold night snuggled in the in this room surrounded by Christmas lights and the family I never thought I wanted.

So while I don't have fancy certificates on my wall or photo albums filled with fancy get aways with my husband and friends I wouldn't trade this life for anything in the world.

I have a feeling that when we think we know what is best for us and what we will be happier doing, God is just looking down on us shaking HIS head and quietly laughing saying "if you only knew what I have in store for you my child."

I'm happy for my friend and all that she has achieved. I'm in no way saying it's wrong to be ambitious or that you can't have a career and children! I know several women who do both beautifully!