Thursday, March 19, 2009

Tonight was THE Night

The night I have been dreading since the last appointment was canceled one week ago today. If you don't know what I'm referring to you can catch up a little here.

We went to see our pastor, specifically our priest, well really Jose's priest. I'm a member of the church and have been for 3 years but I'm not Catholic. But that is a very complicated story for another day.

I like our Pastor, he's awesome. If it wasn't for him I probably never would have stepped foot into a Catholic church.

I was sweating and almost shaking by the time we got there. And I opened up with "I don't want to be here and I'm a little angry we even have to be here."

Father T got it. We told him what the problem was that got us there and ended up laughing and talking about why I'm not Catholic. Father T said it was the most fun he had had in a marriage counseling session ever. And he told us that we would be OK, because 1st, we are honest with each other 2nd, we can laugh in the midst of our fighting, which he observed in his office.

He's right, we will be OK. We've been super stressed with moving mom and my aunt in and hubby has had so much stress at work and when you are stressed you sometimes fall back into old bad habits.

You try to escape by doing things you shouldn't. And you stop communicating with each other and if left alone you're marriage can be damaged.

We caught it in time and have made a pact to work on the communication problem, start reading Sacred Marriage, and doing something we have never done together.


I'm not sure why we haven't. I have always wanted to have a prayer life with my husband but just have never been sure how to do that and with us having been brought up in different faiths it was a little difficult to know where to start.

But I think it's essential to our marriage and our family.

On to other things, a friend of mine called tonight to tell me that her daughter is having her sweet 16 party on Sat. I have known this little one since she was 4 and I can't believe she will be 16, I want to stop it from happening but since I can't, I guess I gotta go.

She's having a black and white ball. And since I do not fit into any of my clothes I had to go out and buy a black and white dress, with hubby in toe. Only because he was with me when I got the call and we were leaving the counseling session. He was not happy until he got to go into the dressing room with me and zip me up. :) The dress is great, but not something I would have ever worn before this new me.

I have found a few old pictures to give you an idea of how I looked 30+ pounds ago and how I look now. But let me stress it's not really the pounds it's been a whole transformation for me. My attitude is different, and I changed the hair and I just feel more alive now. Not sure which came first the attitude or loosing the weight but I'm getting to a better place than I was a year ago and I thank God for that.

May 2008

Oct 2008

These pictures were taken today and the bottom picture is me trying my dress on when I got home to make sure I had not made a mistake and this is my horrible photography skills in my bathroom.


Carrie said...

That is awesome! You look amazing!
So glad you had a good meeting with the priest and hopefully will continue to get easier! I struggle with anxiety in uncomfortable situations, too. But, have gotten more confident, since learning to take on more leadership-type roles and striving to be more open.
Yes, be able to pray as a couple is not something we do right now. Distractions, work, and other excuses keep us from doing it. Although I pray and try to pray with the kids, we don't do it as a family, and you're right, that makes all the difference! Being involved in MOPS has taught me so much about my spirituality, and I'm learning to apply it to my life. Thanks again for sharing and keeping us all encouraged with you!

Melissa said...

Hey there ~ You look great in that dress! Love the colors too! That was a great next step for you and Hubby to make. Thanks for visiting.

Sheryl said...

Oh my word, love the dress! You look fantastic. So proud of both of you for the marriage counseling. I will be sending you an email tomorrow probably.

Love to you,

Carrie said...

You've been tagged! Hope you have a wonderful weekend!

nancygrayce said...

First, let me say, you did NOT make a mistake with that dress! It looks so good on you!

Second, several years ago, my husband and I started doing a little devotion in the mornings before he went to work. Then we started praying together. Someone told me the most intimate thing a husband and wife can do together is pray! It's true! It is a little awkward at first, but you soon forget everything except that you're talking to the Lord!

It's a little humorous because I can tell when hubby is irritated with me.....he'll pray for me, then say "Lord please make me the husband N needs me to be!" :) Inside, I'm shouting AMEN!

Tanya said...

Oh, you look fantastic! I love the dress and I love that you took control of your marrige. It's not an easy thing to do, but as they say, admitting that you need help gets you 50% better. I think you pastor is right, you'll be fine.

Girl Child said...

ok then, there u have it! I will NOT be getting divorced (not that that has "seriously" entered my mind) but the hubs and i are always upfront and honest and we always laugh in the middle of really wanting to kill each other. Whew, Ill let him know that i read ur blog and now know we will live.. ever after. =)