Has always been such a hard concept for me to grasp. I want to have a plan, I want to know what people are going to do before I blindly hand my trust over to them.
I have always admired people who trusted others until given a reason not to. I have always thought people had to earn my trust first, it's not something I give out freely. This I am sad to say also applies to God as of lately, my world has been turned up side down and inside out. My sister is in jail for 5 years and was given too many chances to count and that makes me angry, husband has lost his job, his work is fighting his unemployment and we will be going to a hearing over that in the next week or so.
My mom has been in PCI twice in the past month and we have almost lost her. My health, that was getting better, has plummeted. Friends that have been in my life for years have just walked out and my spiritual mentors tell me to trust God that it will all work out.
I try and then get knocked right back down again and my flesh wants to say what is the point, trust is getting me no where.
We have no income, state assistance has still not arrived all though we have been approved for it since the day my husband lost his job on May 27. but have seen nothing.
No, God has never let me down, not once but still I doubt, still I question. Hubby went for his first interview today, but I dare not let myself hope for fear of disappointment. And I have to say to myself, where is the faith I once had so fervently. I can pray for others and believe for others and trust that God will take care of them but when it comes to myself, it just doesn't seem to be there.
Dear Lord, I ask that you help me trust in you. Help me not to worry about tomorrow for you said in your word that you will take care of tomorrow. Work on my heart, on my mind, and mend this broken heart of mine so that I can once again cast my cares upon you.
Please keep my family in your prayers and I will do the same for any requests you may want to post.