Wednesday, July 14, 2010


Has always been such a hard concept for me to grasp. I want to have a plan, I want to know what people are going to do before I blindly hand my trust over to them.
I have always admired people who trusted others until given a reason not to. I have always thought people had to earn my trust first, it's not something I give out freely. This I am sad to say also applies to God as of lately, my world has been turned up side down and inside out. My sister is in jail for 5 years and was given too many chances to count and that makes me angry, husband has lost his job, his work is fighting his unemployment and we will be going to a  hearing over that in the next week or so.

My mom has been in PCI twice in the past month and we have almost lost her. My health, that was getting better, has plummeted. Friends that have been in my life for years have just walked out and my spiritual mentors tell me to trust God that it will all work out. 
I try and then get knocked right back down again and my flesh wants to say what is the point, trust is getting me no where.
We have no income, state assistance has still not arrived all though we have been approved for it since the day my husband lost his job on May 27. but have seen nothing.

No, God has never let me down, not once but still I doubt, still I question.  Hubby went for his first interview today, but I dare not let myself hope for fear of disappointment. And I have to say to myself, where is the faith I once had so fervently. I can pray for others and believe for others and trust that God will take care of them but when it comes to myself, it just doesn't seem to be there.

Dear Lord, I ask that you help me trust in you. Help me not to worry about tomorrow for you said in your word that you will take care of tomorrow. Work on my heart, on my mind, and mend this broken heart of mine so that I can once again cast my cares upon you.

Please keep my family in your prayers and I will do the same for any requests you may want to post.


Jennifer @ Getting Down With Jesus said...

My heart aches for you. And I am still praying with you.

Yes, we're called to trust Him. But it's OK to cry out, too. He hears you, and loves you right in the middle of your pain, dear one.

nancygrayce said...

If you didn't know Him, you wouldn't even know to doubt you can trust Him! It is so hard to trust in the bad times....I'm praying you will see his hand in this and praying for assistance to come quickly!

He & Me + 3 said...

Oh Kee...I am so sorry to read this post. He told us we would have trials and tribulations and it sounds like you have had your fair share and more...I read a church sign today that hit home.
Maybe it will help you too.

God uses the storms.
Some how some way these storms will be used for HIS glory my friend.
Hold tight to Him & pray because prayer changes things.
Storming heaven for you my friend.

Sheryl said...

wow, i am sorry i have been away so long!! way too caught up in myself and this "wilderness" i find myself in.

thanks for your comment. i know that i need to be writing more but right now it just seems as if there is nothing and too much to say at the same time!!

asking God to bring you to my mind so that i can be praying for your family. i had no idea of all that is going on. sorry!!