Let Me Tell Ya 'bout My Guy

This little guy is wise beyond his years.

He's more compassionate than most adults I know.

He has no problems doing the chores I assign because as he says 'that's what family does, we all have to do our part."

He fills my days with joy and makes my tomorrows brighter and he would do that even if he were not mine.

Oh and he cracks me up, like when he asked why his shoes had check-marks on them?

Thank you Lord for entrusting him to us.

Wordless Wednesday (Except it's not quite Wednesday yet).

Please Pray as We Journey into the Unknown

I had asked for prayer for hubby's dad earlier this week. We knew he had a blood clot in his leg and that they were trying to get his diabetes under control before they did anything. Well we got the call today and things have taken a small turn for the worse. So Roo and I went to Walmart to buy supplies then came back home and for the last two hours I have been packing. I do not know how people pack for more than two children, we would have to rent a trailer :)

It's a 16 hour drive, I would love to be able to drive the whole way through but I just don't think my body nor my patience will let me. So we are planning on leaving early in the morning and stopping halfway late afternoon to stay over in a hotel.

The surgery is scheduled for Monday to remove the blood clot or clots. I don't know if they don't know how many clots there are right now or if it's just getting lost in translation.

It was funny today, not ha ha funny, but the other kind, you know that nudge you get to do something but you don't know why. Well Wed. are usually my complete day of rest. Mondays I clean all day, Tuesday swim class and school then rest wed and repeat the same. But I felt the nudge early today to do laundry and it's not even usually my thing to do. My aunt loves to do laundry, I have told you she's insane right?

So that is what I spent my day doing every stitch of dirty laundry is now clean and most of it packed neatly away in our suitcases. Thank you God for the little nudges.

I do have several prayer requests:

• Please pray for my INL that God will give them peace.
• Our trip there and back, that I stay seizure free and my body can withstand the trip and still be able to help and care for everyone once we arrive.
• Pray for my husband, I know he is so scared of losing his father. He says that when he sees his father around our child that it's a different side that he never saw growing up. I hope God lets them get their unfinished business taking care of before anything does happen to him.
• My mom, she has fallen back into the state she was before she went to the hospital. She's loopy and sleeps too much and can't feed herself again. But she goes to the doctor on Monday. It's still hard to leave.
• That we make there it there with two children and return with two and not have to air ship one back. They are not the best travels :)
• Oh and one more, don't close the screen now just one more, my family has all the sudden come down with bad coughs and colds. It started with Ruben, then Rissa, now Jose. I'm hoping it won't come my way, maybe I will get one of those masks for the trip.

Thank you my dear friends, for taking the time to visit, to pray and support and uplift me in ways you may never know.

LIVING (Special Post I Promised)

Since becoming sick in April of this year, I have had a lot of time to think about what living REALLY Living means. When you wake up each day not sure how you are going to feel, if you will be able to walk across the floor, if you will have seizures or be in severe pain all day, it changes you in a way that is hard to explain.

You want to make the most of the days, hours and sometimes even just the moments that you feel good.

I think I have finally come to a place where I have stopped being angry at God, at the doctors, and even at myself. While they can't figure out exactly what is going on with my body, some of the medicines are working.

And the biggest thing of all is I have decided to start LIVING like never before and I will dedicate a post each week to it even the if I don't feel like it that week, I will find something GREAT to post about.
I will start enjoying the small things more and documenting them here in writing and with pictures.

So my LIVING post for this week is more in pictures.

Hubby and I got up at 8am on sat and went to get our hair cut. We grabbed breakfast and brought it home for everyone. We then took our two rug rats and our dog Toby to the park.

And I PLAYED with my kids. I climbed with them, I went down the slide with them, I swung on the swings with them. It has been six + months since I have done any of that with my kids.

Today I Lived.

My Life in Pictures Challenge, Cruisin

This week I'm participating in Amber's picture challenge over at Everything Except the Grill.


Now I'm a rookie at photograhy and only have a point and shoot camera. The good pics that I do get are only because I have adorable subjects. No, I'm not biased at all. :)

Though I May Question, His Timing is Always Perfect

I haven't posted lately. I've had so many things swimming in my head and it's been hard to make it into any kind of cohesive post.

I went to the doctor this past Friday, since he has had me on Depakote, I have been so much better. I've been driving some, going grocery shopping and some things around the house. I have to make sure I don't over do it though.

So the doc kept me on all my medicines, gave me something to help me sleep at night but it makes me feel drugged in the mornings so I'm gonna see if he will switch it.

Roo starts kindergarten on Aug 8th, I could do a whole post about how I feel about that and probably will soon.

He will be going to the private school that is associated with the church we go to. This is where he attended preschool and he loved it. I loved it because it's small and I know most of the teachers and parents already.

However, my monthly medicine is equal to the cost of Roo's monthly tuition. So for the last week or so I thought we would have to choose one. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against public schools but the ones in our area rank at the bottom in our state and I feel better about Roo going to a place where I know the people well.

I couldn't see me sending him to public school but I couldn't stop my meds because I would be right back where I was and of help to no one.

That's when God stepped in.

The secretary at the school called and asked if I thought I felt well enough work one or two days a week at school as a teachers aide. We would not have to pay anything except a one time book few. I thought it was awesome but was not sure I could make it a whole day. I do best in the mornings for a few hours at a time.

She said she would see what she could do. Later she called me back and told me that Roo's preschool teacher said she would love for me to be her aide. That way I only work 4 hours two days a week and she said she would give me paperwork and tasks that involved me siting if I needed to.

God is awesome. He continues to amaze me.

The Big Reveal

I posted pics of Roo's godmother in the process of painting his room a couple of months ago.

It's still not done. I have curtains to make & a few more things to hang. Usually I would put these only our family blog which mainly documents the kids & family life, while this blog is uncensored and focuses more on my journey to a better me.
But it's getting kind of hard to keep them separate because the more I get to know all of you the more I want to share my kids :)

I tried my best to declutter it and put everything in it's place for the pictures, that is until Hurricane Marissa woke up from her nap and kept moving things and cluttering up my shots.

Here is the incomplete big reveal:

Before

Taken when we moved in last July.

This is me taking a picture of his closet doors, to say I did not like them is an understatment, so we replaced them with curtains I made.

He had a bunk bed with a desk on one end and drawers on the other but he did not like it so we took it apart and put the other bed in Rissa's room.


After

I'm going to use same fabric as closet for the green wall and plain green fabric for the blue wall.

I made these curtains for his closet, but I do not sew. I won't tell you how they were put together because it would probably make some of you crafty mom's cringe. ;)

Had to have the star wars logo, from Ebay.

His closet and his desk we took apart.

My little Picaso painted this especially for his room.

I had this collage made for him on his 4th birthday, it's a star wars poster with my favorite pictures of his first 4 years.

Have I told you he loves Star Wars? :)

Oso and Floppy ears on his bed.

The good life, now if I could just someone to come and redo my room I would be as happy and relaxed as he is.

Cracking Eggs on the 4th

We made cupcakes on Sat., well Hubby and I were supervising and Roo was actually combining all the ingredients.
This is the first egg he cracked, it didn't quite make it in the bowl.
You can find more pics on our family blog.

This is How Feeling Better Looks

I am cherishing each day that I can stay out of bed, get dressed and play with my kids. It's all the things I used to take for granted but pray I never do again. Today was Ruben's last day of VBS and I was able to go and see their program, no walker or wheel chair. I walked in by myself and walked out, seems so simple but it was really awesome. And the first time in 3 months I've been able to do this.

I wasn't able to get good pictures inside, it was too dark, so here are some of me and the kids when we got home. I'm feeling great but part of me is just waiting for my symptoms to knock me off my feet again. I can't let fear run my life and I know that when or if they come back God is big enough to take care of them and me.

Just Normal Family Life, Amazing

It has been a really great weekend, minus the two seizures/episodes, but I have had full use of my legs and no numbness or tingling for four days now.

It really makes you appreciate every little thing.

I was even able to help Hubby finish hanging things up in Roo's room (pics soon I promise).
I also changed Rissa's room around and put some things on the wall. We painted her room in Nov. for her birthday but never really finished it.

Tonight while tucking the kids into bed, I realized how perfect all this is. We have our own home. It's nothing fancy but it's ours. Our kids have a room of their own and they have it painted in their favorite colors, decorated with their favorite characters.

I remember growing up, all I wanted was to be able to paint my room, have a beautiful comforter with curtains to match. We could never paint because we never owned our own home. Mom was a single parent working two jobs and still couldn't make ends meet, so there were no fancy comforters with matching curtains.

Don't get me wrong, we had more love than any two girls could ask for and she did the absolute best with the circumstances she was given.

It just makes me appreciate everything that we are able to give our kids. I'm not just talking about material things. Fixing up both their rooms did not cost much at all. It's the love we put into the rooms, it's the love we put into this house, the laughter and memories we have made and will continue to make in each room.

Tonight my heart is filled with gratitude. All my life, this is all I ever wanted. A home filled with a husband and kids who love me. Taco nights, family game nights, Candy Land on the living room floor, water gun fights in the backyard...just normal family life.

It's something I never had as a child and something I was certain that I never would have as an adult. And after all that has transpired the last month, I know how fleeting it all can be. So I'm holding on to every moment every memory with both hands and thanking God for blessing me with the little things in this life.

My Daughter the Beautician

I alluded earlier to Marissa doing something to her hair. Click here if you would like to see her handy work.

Today has been a good day, well after the EEG, I had a seizure/episode during it but the doc said that was what he wanted. But after that I have been fine just tired. But have full use of my hands and legs today, which is so wonderful.


Hope you all are having a great weekend.

You're Gonna Miss This....Moment

I realized while in the hospital just how much the little moments matter. The good night kisses I was not there for, the boo boos I didn't get to kiss, the birthday party I missed. I also realized that we aren't promised tomorrow so we need to hang on to and enjoy every single moment to the fullest.

There are times when I think I might loose my mind being confined to bed and then my children (and our dog Toby, who normally isn't allowed in the bed) climb in bed with me and we have story time and cuddle time. And I forget all the other stuff that weighs my mind down.

Pam's.

Check out more Moments at

Oh, and Marissa loves the wheel chair rides around the house. I won't miss the wheel chair moments but I am pretty sure she will. :)

I Missed these Crazy Kids

These were taken while I was gone.

This one was taken yesterday from my bed, which is where I spend most of my time for now. That's Toby with me and Roo, he's not allowed in the bed so hopefully Hubby won't see this picture :)

Today I am tired but can't seem to get any rest. Hoping tomorrow will be better.